


金子般的心脏 (A Heart of Gold)

by xingnini



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-10-31 03:28:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10890741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xingnini/pseuds/xingnini
Summary: Hello, my angel, how did you steal my heart? It’s all right, my angel, take my heart and cherish it.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Title credit to the best best friend I’ve ever had, Celine. Thanks for putting up with all my fanfic and EXO shit lol. Love you, gurl!!

“Hold my hand, you wouldn’t want the tree monsters to catch you with their branches, now would you?” 

 

“No!! Mom!! Hold me!!” His mom laughed as she reached out her hand to hold her little boy’s. “Why do we have to go through the tree monsters?” 

 

“Past those monsters is a beautiful lake that mommy likes to go to. She usually has to fight off these tree monsters by herself before she can get to her favorite spot.”

 

“No, mommy! I’m here now! You don’t have to worry!!” 

 

“Make sure you hold your truck properly!” 

 

“I am!!” 

 

They pushed past the last of the forest before they arrived upon a sparkling lake that was surrounded by the forest. “WAHH!!” the boy exclaimed in fascination. “It’s so pretty!!” 

 

“Right? I’m glad I can bring you here!! Now, you sit right here and watch what mommy does.”

 

The little boy sat down on the shore with his toy truck beside him and watched as the woman picked up a couple of rocks. She raised her arm and threw a single rock into the water. The boy wondered what his mother was doing, and thought the rock would fall straight into the water. 

 

Instead, the rock jumped across the surface about 7 times before it disappeared into the lake. “Mom, what did you just do?!” 

 

“I’m skipping rocks, honey,” his mom replied calmly before throwing another one. “Aw, that only skipped 3 times.”

 

“That’s so cool!!” 

 

From the other side of the lake, the little boy saw movement in the trees. “Huh?” A head peered out from behind a tree and disappeared again before the boy could say something. He stood up to try to see as much as he could, but he decided there was nothing there. The wind rustled the surface of the water and the leaves of the trees as the boy continued to watch his mother skip rocks.


	2. Chapter 2

**Tuesday, August 13th**

 

He marked a huge red ‘X’ over Tuesday, the 13th of August. A little bit more than a week until his fate was determined. He sighed heavily and closed the red marker with its cap. Looking down at his dog, his only friend and companion, he said, “Don’t worry, girl. We’ll be fine.”

 

The dog looked up at him, and he realized he was reassuring himself instead. It’s either he dies or the surgery goes successfully.

 

Yixing has been praying for a long time, praying that God would decide he was worthy enough to keep living. It was one of the few things he could do in his house to preoccupy time anyway. He had a routine everyday — sunny or rainy, hot or cold, he stuck to it.

 

Wake up.

 

Wash up.

 

Mark the calendar.

 

Take medicine.

 

Eat.

 

Feed the dog.

 

Take the dog for a walk.

 

Read/paint/write.

 

Eat.

 

Feed the dog.

 

Clean up.

 

Take the dog for a walk.

 

Breathing exercises.

 

Eat.

 

Take a shower.

 

Pray.

 

Sleep.

 

Repeat.

 

There was no space for anything else to fit in, especially boredom.

  
  


The rain was pounding on the glass of the windows, and a gray hue came through into the room. Jongdae looked down at the huge yard full of sunflowers and the clean-cut bushes that his aunt liked to tend to.

 

He ceased to look out the window and sat down on his bed, proceeding to look at the toy truck on his desk. His aunt always asked him why he never gave it away, and why he kept it near him, but he never gave an answer and told her not to worry about it. A couple of years ago, when she was cleaning up his room one day, Jongdae spotted it in the donation bag while she was leaving the room, and he yanked it out before she could ask him why he was starting to cry.

 

Jongdae’s aunt also never understood when he was younger why he would cry or throw fits when she left the house for work. Her work required her to leave the house for a few days, and when she came back, Jongdae would be reserved and quiet, never leaving his room. Lately, he would silently accept that she was leaving, and he’d give her a quiet goodbye before retreating to his room.

 

Today, she’s just out to town for groceries, but he’s still alone in the house, nonetheless.

 

Alone _with him_.

 

"KIM JONGDAE!!!!" A roar of anguish came from downstairs, disrupting his thoughts as if on cue. His door was closed, but the voice could still reached his ears loud and clear.

 

_No... What did I do? I've been up here the whole time..._

 

He heard loud and fast footsteps coming up the wooden stairs. He couldn't hide anymore; he was never able to hide. He would find him even if he did.

 

Jongdae stood up, and right when he did, the door of his room shot open and a dirty pan flew straight into his stomach. Jongdae cried out in pain and keeled over as his knees fell to the floor.

 

“Father,” Jongdae grunted, trying not to cough as his father made his way towards him, “what did I do? What’s made you so angry?”

 

“YOU UNGRATEFUL BRAT,” the man spat; Jongdae could smell the alcohol in his breath. “I’VE TAKEN CARE OF YOU FOR THE PAST 17 YEARS AND YOU CAN’T EVEN WASH THE DISHES THIS ONCE.”

 

_What was he doing, drinking this early in the day?_

 

“YOU’RE USELESS. YOU’LL NEVER MAKE SOMETHING OUT OF YOURSELF AT THIS POINT. YOU’RE A WASTE OF SPACE THAT THIS WORLD DOESN’T NEED.”

 

The man kicked his son’s chest, causing the boy to fall back on the ground. His hands were not fast enough to cushion his fall and his back crashed mercilessly onto the ground. His father hovered over him with menacing and unforgiving eyes that pierced into his skin.

 

_Are you really mad at me for not something as trivial as this?_

 

“WHAT WOULD YOUR MOTHER SAY ABOUT THIS,

 

_Don’t bring mom into this._

 

THAT YOU DON’T EVEN BOTHER HELPING AROUND THE HOUSE.”

 

_I’m too scared to go downstairs with you there. I can’t do anything with you always down there._

 

He kicked Jongdae in his right rib, and Jongdae couldn’t tell through the immense pain whether or not it would only leave a bruise or if his ribs cracked. “STOP LYING DOWN!! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!! YOU DESERVE TO BE DISCIPLINED LIKE THIS!!”

 

_You beat me up like this…_

 

“YOU’RE NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING ELSE AND BE SUCCESSFUL, BUT YOU CAN’T EVEN DO SIMPLE HOUSE CHORES?”

 

His father crouched down on top of Jongdae, and began brutally punching him in the face. His cheeks and the area near one of his eyes were starting to feel numb and he had to close his eyes so it wouldn’t be completely damaged. All he could feel was pain, pain, pain.

 

He was probably hit about 5 times in the face and his whole body was kicked around, when he felt like he was going to pass out. When he opened his eyes, his father was stumbling away and moving towards the pan on the floor. The dirty pan that wasn’t washed; it was full of oil and grease. Maybe his father was retreating now, but he realized he was wrong when his father started moving towards him again with the pan in his hand.

 

Jongdae’s eyes widened when his father raised the hand holding the pan high above his head.

 

It took all his energy, but he kicked the man in the knees, causing him to fall onto the floor with a huge _thud!_ Everything hurt, but he quickly got up and took the pan from the hand of the one who was too intoxicated to fight back. It hurt him to do so, but with the pan in hand, he struck his father, right on the head, causing him to become unconscious.

 

_… but I can’t bring myself to hate you._

 

Jongdae squeaked at what he had done, and dropped the pan, which clattered onto the floor.

 

He had to run, he had to get away before his father woke up and murdered him. He would surely be killed out of pure rage. His head was spinning and he felt like he was having a panic attack, but the first thing he grabbed was his toy truck before he went sprinting out the door.

 

He ran down the stairs, through the living room and out the door; he ran into the rain and past the sunflowers into the thickly wooded forest that just bordered the fields of his house. The rain hitting his face stung the open cuts and bruises, but it was still numb for the most part. Under the trees, the rain stopped showering on him ceasing to reach the bottom of the woodland.

 

He kept running, even if he knew he was safe and his father wouldn’t reach him. He figured if he ran harder and faster, he could eventually run far enough from his problems…

 

His foot snagged on a tree root and he stumbled onto the soil and dirt, hands out to protect his face from getting more scraped up than it already was. His toy truck flew out in a direction he could not see, but his thoughts were too muddled to notice. He thought he was okay, but when he tried to shift around his ankle, it hurt and was too uncomfortable to move. He was too tired to move and everything was sore, and he almost resorted to just laying on the ground face down.

 

Somewhere in his right mind, he didn’t want bugs crawling up his nose/ears to have a higher possible chance of happening, so he dragged himself using his arms to a nearby tree and tried to prop himself up, sitting and leaning his back on it. He ended up slumped against the tree, but he found it in himself not to care anymore. His labored and strained breathing became softer and more gentle, as he found himself drifting off into sleep.

  
  


“Fushi, don’t go too far,” Yixing called out. It was time for the dog's walk. With the yellow umbrella in his hand, the forest gave off a nice mixture of dark greens against the bright and vibrant color. Moss covered the ground and the dirt was moist from the occasional drops of water that fell from the leaves. The boy holding the umbrella could feel the earth sink with every step he took.

 

_Bark!! Bark!!_

 

It sounded urgent. Fushi didn't usually bark unless there was another animal in sight. Although he couldn't run, Yixing hurried over and quickened his walking to where his white Samoyed was barking.

 

He rounded a tree and saw the white dog, tongue out and panting, wagging her tail, waiting for his answer to come to her call. At the dog's paws was a boy, who couldn't be older than him, lying against the tree.

 

The boy's face was covered in pink angry bruises, and he had a purple discoloration around his  eye. One look, and Yixing could tell he was broken and beaten.

 

“Too bad he doesn’t know that’s where you do your business,” Yixing said, turning to the dog. Fushi stared up at Yixing with a panting mouth and tongue wagging out. “Okay, girl, I want you to stay here, and I will come back.”

 

When he saw the dog sit down next to the injured boy, Yixing made his way back to his house. Behind the cabin, there was a red wagon, a wagon he used to pull around to put plants and rocks he found interesting into. When he took up reading and painting, outdoor activities were long forgotten.

 

The wagon creaked each time it hit a bump on the ground or a tree root. It took him 5 minutes to find the place where the dog was waiting next to the injured boy, but he was able to make it. Fushi was the first to make noise when she saw her owner had come back.

 

_Bark!! Bark!!_

 

“Sh!!!!!” Yixing fiercely shushed the dog, putting his finger to his lips. Fushi got the message and stopped barking. He didn’t want the dog to wake the boy up, but judging by how he didn’t stir at all, he probably wouldn’t have woken up if the dog kept barking.

 

Yixing made his way over to the boy and picked up his legs, trying to drag him over towards the wagon. When the boy started groaning, he realized that was not the best way to move him…

 

Yixing was too weak to carry the boy onto the wagon, so the boy's head and arms were hit a lot on the side of the wagon. His dog just sat under the shade of the tree, watching as her master attempted to lug the boy onto the wagon. When majority of the boy's body was on the wagon (his legs were dangling out), Yixing was panting and catching his breath before he had to pull the wagon back to the house again.

 

He didn't even want to think about having to lift the boy onto his bed. Yixing's limbs cried out for mercy.

 

He felt extremely bad when the boy's arms, which were splayed out and hanging out over the wagon, were hit against the trees, but he would feel a little better when Fushi would lick the boy's hand when he started moaning in pain unconsciously.

 

It took 10 minutes of labored breathing and partially dragging the boy's legs across the dirt and onto wooden floor, but he finally got the injured guest onto his bed. He felt too bad to let the boy sleep on a couch, and he knew too much strain was bad for his heart, but he made sure the boy was comfortable and not hurting too much.

 

Fushi lied in her bed as she watched her master dragged a small chair next to his bed. Then, with a small towel draped on his shoulder, he got a small bin and ran it under the sink to fill it with warm water. When it was filled, he brought it to the bedside and sat on the chair.

 

He dipped the towel in the water and gently dabbed the boy's face, washing away the dirt, sweat, and blood away. Yixing took a good look at the boy for the first time and couldn't help but feel his heart twinge; his good eye had dark eye bags underneath and his face was a little sunken.

 

Yixing wiped the towel over high cheekbones and a sharp jaw line. After his face was cleaned, he wiped down the arms. He figured he had to, and lifted the boy's shirt to see if there were any injuries. On his stomach and one side of his ribs, there were slight bruising, so Yixing wrapped it up. The boy's legs were nicked up so he medicated them and wrapped the swollen ankle.

 

He had to skip his breathing exercises and he ate less than usual, because he was worried he didn't take good care enough of the boy. While he was showering, he worried that the boy would die because of him; because he didn’t take good enough care of him. He prayed tonight, not for himself, but that the boy would be okay.

 

When the boy's breathing became calmer, Yixing was able to sleep in peace.

 

**Wednesday, August 14th**

 

**Thursday, August 15th**

 

Jongdae's eyes opened to see he was in an unfamiliar place; he sat up to look at the wooden cabin that was almost empty, except for the necessities. The first thing that caught his eyes was a calendar marked in red. Many dates were crossed out, but a single day was circled. The 21st. Less than a week until what?

 

Was he kidnapped? Were his perpetrators planning to do something to him by then?

 

Before he could worry and become more frightened than he already was, the front door opened and in a flash, something white and fluffy was pinning him back down on the bed and licking him in the face.

 

"You're finally awake?" Jongdae looked past the thing that was on top of him to the boy that asked him the question. "How are you feeling?"

 

"You didn't kidnap me, right?" Jongdae asked boldly.

 

The boy's worried expression slowly morphed into a happy one, and he burst out laughing. "You must be fine then."

 

"Why are you laughing? Who are you?" Jongdae's demanded.

 

"Please calm down. My name is Zhang Yixing, and I've been taking care of you for the past two days."

 

"Zhang Yixing..." Jongdae echoed out loud. He thought the name sounded too weird to be Korean. Then he processed the rest of the boy’s sentence. "Wait, two days?! I've been out for that long?"

 

Yixing nodded his head.

 

Jongdae thought about the last thing he remembered before passing out. Hitting his father in the head with a pan, running in the rain and into the forest, falling down and sitting against a tree. He's not sure about this, but he remembers a red wagon and pathway in the forest. It was gray and rainy and the path was a little bumpy.

 

"Did you find me in the forest?"

 

Yixing nodded again.

 

"Dragged me through it on a red wagon?"

 

"You were awake for that?"

 

"I guess,” Jongdae shrugged, “I thought it was a dream."

 

Yixing smiled. "You look better already. Your ankle should be okay now, since it wasn't broken or sprained. And the cuts are all healing; your black eye is fading."

 

"Wow, thanks for taking care of me."

 

"It's no problem, I was glad to help you."

 

Jongdae thought about his father again, and he felt fear strike into him. "Yixing, is it okay for me to stay for a while? I know it's kind of weird, but yeah. Reasons." He quickly added in, "I hope it's not that much trouble."

 

"Yeah, sure, you're not really imposing on me. But it's kind of weird letting a stranger, whose name I don't know, sleep in my house."

 

"Oh! Kim Jongdae. My name's Jongdae. But it is a little strange you're letting a stranger stay here."

 

Yixing shrugged. "It gets a little lonely here — and I kind of just saved you, so I think it'd be great if you didn't dig a knife into my back when I'm turned around or something."

 

Jongdae cracked a smile for the first time in a long time.

 

**Friday, August 16th**

 

Yesterday, Jongdae had to stay in bed to ensure his ankle healed completely and didn’t ensue any further damage. Jongdae also borrowed some of Yixing clothes, which surprisingly fit him. He thought Yixing’s clothes would be bigger on him since he was taller, but Jongdae discovered that Yixing was very skinny.

 

Today, as Yixing was making breakfast and was completely unaware that Jongdae had woken up, the injured boy got up and walked all the way across the room to follow the smell of eggs.

 

Yixing freaked out.

 

“Sit down!! What are you doing!!” He yelled while holding his heart.

 

Jongdae laughed. “The eggs smell really good! You must know how to _cook_! Can I have cheese and salt on mine?”

 

Yixing turned back to the eggs to flip it over and make sure it wasn’t burning. “I can do something about the cheese, but I don’t have that much salt in my house. It’s not good for you.”

 

“You’re right. It’s okay, I can make do,” Jongdae said, smiling cheerfully.

 

“Okay, at least sit down at the table. You shouldn’t be up too long on that ankle. Your food will be ready soon.”

 

When the food was done cooking, Yixing set it down on the table for Jongdae, and the boy had scarfed down everything. Yixing was glad that his cooking was okay, for someone who has never heard anyone’s opinion on his cooking. When Jongdae looked up from his food, Yixing realized he had not even taken a bite of his own, and had been watching the injured boy eat the whole time.

 

"Haha, what have you been doing? Is watching me eat that fascinating?" Jongdae joked.

 

Yixing smiled. "A little."

 

"Why is that?" Yixing smiled and shook his head, then started eating his food. "Aw, now I'm curious!"

 

"I don't know, it's just that I haven't cooked for anyone before. Even though it’s just eggs, I’m grateful that you liked it.”

 

Jongdae realized Yixing was lonely, but was grateful for the little things. He has never met anyone like him; no one had this kind of personality in his school. His classmates were rude and stuck-up since they were all rich and well-off. He was a little out of place, since his father had dwindled down their wealth with his drinking and gambling, but his aunt worked hard, working three jobs (although Jongdae did not know a single one of them). Jongdae wondered how he never came across this boy in the woods, and he wish he did sooner.

 

“Well, I have no choice. Even if it was the most horrible-tasting food on the earth, I would have to eat it if I didn’t want to starve,” Jongdae joked, causing Yixing to laugh light-heartedly.

 

Yixing already liked having Jongdae around. He was a boy that seemed to dislike serious situations. Yixing felt like the house needed some uplifting emotions to fill the emptiness and dreariness in it.

 

Jongdae went to the bathroom to wash up and brush his teeth with one of the extra toothbrushes Yixing had. After Yixing washed the dishes and fed the dog, Jongdae removed the bandage wrapping around his ankle to see if it was alright to walk on it. He had been sitting around all day yesterday and limping to get to places, and he wanted to get up and do something.

 

“Is it okay for you to walk around?” Yixing asked, holding a leash in his hands.

 

Jongdae got up. It was a little uncomfortable for now, but probably because his ankle had been immobile for two days. “I think I can manage,” he answered.

 

“I’m taking my dog out for a walk… Would you like to come?”

 

Jongdae looked at his ankle and then at the door. Then, he shrugged. “Sure, why not? I think it would be nice to get around again.” He was still going to be deep in the woods, right? His father would not find him here.

 

The woods were a lot brighter and less humid than he last remembered. In his memory, it was wet and the colors were all tinted gray from the rainclouds. It felt nice to breathe in deeply, because the air was so refreshing and Jongdae would always stay inside his house.

 

His father did not like it when he went outside, since it would mean seeing him — when he saw Jongdae, he saw the woman he loved who ran away from him. He saw broken promises, unfaithfulness, and cowardice. Jongdae knew very well what his father thought about him. It was amazing how his aunt hadn’t picked up on the rift between her brother and his son.

 

“You must like it here,” Yixing said, interrupting his thoughts. Jongdae noticed he had been staring at a tree, and it occurred to him that he must have stopped Yixing and Fushi from going on further. “You seem deep in thought.”

 

“Ah, yeah, sorry,” Jongdae sheepishly apologized, scratching the back of his head. “The air is really nice here. It’s smells of leaves and rainwater.”

 

“Yes, right? It’s very nice to come out and walk Fushi every day. Daily dose of fresh air.”

 

As they continued walking, Jongdae noticed a spot underneath a tree that had a little depression in the ground. It must have been the spot where he found Jongdae lying. “Is this where you found me?”

 

Yixing looked to the spot where Jongdae was pointing at and saw Fushi walk towards there. “Haha, yeah…” Jongdae realized what the dog was doing there and groaned as Yixing laughed a little. While Yixing began to clean up after the dog, Jongdae wandered around a little. Among the greens and browns, something red and blue caught his eye.

 

He went over and panicked as he saw his toy truck on the ground. Immediately, he went and picked it up, holding it close to his chest. He felt like crying. He couldn’t believe he completely forgot about it for the past two days.

 

“Jongdae?” Yixing called out, when he heard the boy’s cries. When he wouldn’t respond or come, the Chinese boy went over to where Jongdae was sitting, crouched up and holding something close. “Jongdae…”

 

The boy looked up from what he was holding and looked at Yixing with tears in his eyes — tears that refused to fall. Jongdae blinked once and the tears were gone. He stood up and apologized, “Ah, sorry, I didn’t hear you.” He gave a light chuckle to show he was trying to joke it off, but Yixing knew better than that.

 

“What’s that you have there?”

 

Jongdae followed Yixing’s eyes and looked down at the toy truck he was holding. “It’s a truck. It must have slipped from my hands when I fell near the tree,” Jongdae explained. Yixing looked at the boy as if he wanted to know more, but it was subtle and not at all pushy; it made Jongdae want to tell him more. “It’s very important to me.”

 

“So, you ran into the woods with it in your hands?” Jongdae nodded. “Do you want to talk about it? It seems like it has a secret significance that you need to get off your chest… Well, of course you don’t have to since we only met, but I think it would be better if you had someone to confide in.”

 

Jongdae sighed and sat back down while the Chinese boy followed in pursuit. Fushi came bounding back beside her master and settled next to him. “This toy was given to me from my father when my mother was still in the house.” Yixing didn’t realize he was giving off a confused look until Jongdae sighed and continued on. “When I was little, my mother ran away and didn’t take me with her, so my father fell into a depression and began drinking. His sister moved in with us when she realized he couldn’t regulate his drinking habits anymore.

 

“However, she did not know he continued drinking when she was gone. Soon, drinking was replaced with hitting. My father hated me, and he hated my guts. He scrutinized my every move and rebuked everything I did. I was left with a memory of a good father in this truck.”

 

Yixing didn’t know what to say. This opened his eyes and made him realize that some other people had it worse than him. Some people had more unfortunate lives than him. He should not only pray for himself, but for the people who do not have an opportunity. He had no words to comfort Jongdae.

 

Yixing got up and held out a hand for Jongdae to take. As Jongdae took it, Yixing pulled him up to stand. Yixing is willing to offer a hand to help pull him back up; Jongdae never felt more than ever in that moment that “actions are stronger than words.”

 

**Saturday, August 17th**

 

Jongdae woke up again to the smell of food wafting through the house. It smelled of soup brewing and Jongdae got up to see what was cooking.

 

"You're up," Yixing greeted. "Good morning."

 

"Good morning! What's for breakfast?"

 

"Hm, my fail of an attempt at seaweed soup. I heard Koreans eat it for breakfast sometimes. Kimchi is somewhere in the fridge if you want."

 

"You addressed Koreans as if you’re not one," Jongdae remarked.

 

"Yeah, I'm Chinese. Zhang Yixing is a Chinese name."

 

Jongdae’s mouth gaped open. "Really? You’re Chinese? Your last name isn’t Jang?” Yixing nodded. “Of course, I thought so! You're accent doesn't sound natural and your first name is a little... No offense, I mean I can still understand your Korean."

 

"Haha, it's all good. Zhang and Jang — sounds similar, right? I understand why you thought so."

 

They ate, including the dog, and they took Fushi out for her walk. Even after the walk, Jongdae could not get enough of outdoors and begged Yixing to stay outside instead of painting or reading. On the outside, it seemed that Yixing was reluctant to break his schedule, but on the inside, he was a little glad he had something else to do. Without Jongdae here, it would have been pointless to stay outside.

 

They stumbled upon a clearing in the forest, a place Yixing decided would be nice for Fushi to run around. The dog was currently chasing Jongdae, who was frolicking around in the open space. Yixing stayed a little behind, walking, and closing his eyes and he felt the sunlight warm his face. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Tag, you're it!"

 

Yixing opened his to see Jongdae running a few steps and then turning to see if the Chinese boy was going after him. "No, I don't think that's —"

 

"Come on!! Have fun! Run around! It's a really nice day today; not too hot and not too cold! Take advantage of the weather and jump around!"

 

Yixing still looked a little unsure.

 

Jongdae decided a little taunting might do it. He made a few faces by stretching his cheeks and pulling on his eyes. He stuck out his tongue and waited for a moment. Slowly, a devious smile grew and spread across Yixing's face and then the boy lunged. Jongdae began sprinting so he wouldn't get caught so soon. Fushi sensed the excitement and began running alongside them.

 

Halfway through the field, Jongdae looked back and saw Yixing close by. Even though Jongdae was sprinting and running the hardest he could, the Chinese boy was able to keep up. Jongdae turned back around to face forward, but he expected to be caught any minute now. He heard Fushi's barking and he knew Yixing's hand would touch his shoulder soon.

 

But it didn't. Jongdae kept running though, and soon Fushi's barking became more distant. Out of breath, Jongdae stopped and turned around. Yixing wasn't chasing him anymore. In fact, Jongdae didn't see him anywhere at first.

 

When Jongdae saw Fushi barking and saw a body on the ground, he realized it was Yixing. "Oh, no..." Jongdae ran over to where the dog and his friend were. The boy had collapsed.

  
  


Yixing woke up in his cabin on his bed. There was a little pressure on his chest, but it was bearable.

 

Jongdae shot straight up and the first sign of movement. "You're awake! Thank God!"

 

Yixing looked around to see a chair next to the side of his bed and Fushi lying down next to it. He looked out the window and saw it was dark already. "What happened?"

 

"I don't know! You tell me!! Did you fall while running? Or are you perhaps narcoleptic?"

 

Yixing remembered the excruciating pain in his chest before everything blacked out. "Oh."

 

"You remember?"

 

Yixing nodded and sighed. "I guess I'm telling you since I don't know how much time is left. I haven't ran in a while. That was probably the first time in six years."

 

"Wait, what do you mean you don't know how much time is left?" Jongdae asked slowly and cautiously.

 

"To put it simply... I’m sick. I have a heart disease; I'm not allowed to run or do anything that will work my heart, I'm not allowed to become startled or watch anything frightening that would get my blood pumping faster, and I'm not allowed to eat anything high in sodium and cholesterol. I’m getting surgery on the 21st, and it will determine whether or not I live."

 

Jongdae remembered when he first woke up and saw the calendar that was marked, and remembered that the 21st was circled in red. "So why did you run!! You put yourself in danger!!" Jongdae shouted at him.

 

Yixing only smiled. "It was a nice day out, and you told me to take advantage of the weather."

 

"So what?! If I told you to chop off your tongue and feed it to your dog, you would do it?!" Jongdae sat down in the chair and covered his face with his hands. "This is all my fault..."

 

Yixing reached out for Jongdae's hand and held it to comfort him. "It's not. I chose to do it. It's my own fault, but I don't regret it because it's been a while since I've felt the wind rush past me like that. It felt amazing; I felt free even if it was just for a second. It was fun, too; I almost caught up to you."

 

Jongdae's face softened and he looked like he was going to cry. "But you didn't, stupid. You weren't even close." Yixing started to get up. “What do you think you are doing?”

 

“Getting up so you can sleep on my bed.”

 

“Why in the world would you do that, when you just fainted a couple of hours ago?”

 

“You were injured, too.”

 

Jongdae lightly pushed Yixing back onto the bed to lie down. “That was a while ago. I’m obviously fine if I was able to run well. My bruises are fading now, see?” Jongdae held up on arm to Yixing to show the yellow splotches on his arm.

 

Yixing continued to insist. “Well, I’m not going to let you sleep on the floor, or that couch. That’s too uncomfortable for a guest.”

 

Jongdae exhaled. Then, he lifted up the covers of the bed and got in next to Yixing. “Happy? Let’s just sleep on the bed together.”

 

Yixing shrugged. “Sure, why not?”

 

They lied on their backs, staring at the ceiling in silence for a few minutes. It was an awkward, but comfortable silence at the same time. “Why aren’t you in the hospital?”

 

Yixing was taken aback. “Pardon?”

 

“You’re sick. What are you doing in the middle of the woods, instead of being regulated in a hospital? What if you fainted in here, and no one found you?”

 

“Hmm, I’d die I guess,” Yixing joked. Jongdae turned his head and gave him a look. “Okay, not funny. I mean, I have a medical aid that comes and checks up on me once a month. She’s coming a few days before the surgery.”

 

“Why not just stay in the hospital instead of having an aid?”

 

“Well, many reasons,” Yixing answered. “First, my family doesn’t have enough money for that. We’ve saved up for a long time for this surgery. Second, I like staying here, because I get fresh air everyday and I have more freedom than just sitting around in a hospital bed. Hmm,” the boy thought about more reasons. “Fushi. I have to take care of Fushi. She is our family dog, and my mom sent her here with me, since the rest of my family didn’t have enough money to come. Fushi means happiness, and that is what she brings me when I am lonely or sad.”

 

"You're a very good person."

 

"Hm?"

 

"You..." Jongdae tried to find words. "You have a heart of gold. No matter how weak or sick it is."

 

"How so?"

 

"You think of others before yourself. You have a heart disease and you choose to lug a boy all the way from the forest to your home. Even if I was a complete stranger."

 

"Well," Yixing laughed a little. "I'd like to think you'd do the same if I were in your situation.”

 

“You’re a very honest and down-to-earth person,” Jongdae continued. “You suffer hardships, but you’re not even bitter about it. You always have good intentions. If that didn’t explain it, I have a lot more to say.”

 

“Thanks,” Yixing expressed and Jongdae could hear the sincerity leaking out of the gratitude. “That really means a lot to me. I'm actually very tired right now, so I'm going to sleep. Good night, Jongdae."

 

"Of course. G'night." Immediately after saying that, Jongdae felt remorse. Why didn't he say the whole thing? 'Good night, Yixing' is not hard to say.

 

Zhang Yixing — the boy who was already sleeping peacefully next to him. He was really great. He's managed to invade Jongdae's thoughts and clouds of worry. He made him forget about his abusive father and what he's left behind. He turned and looked at the sleeping boy. Jongdae’s never met anyone with a heart of gold before.

 

He wanted to treasure it and keep it safe.

 

**Sunday, August 18th**

 

When Jongdae woke up, he saw Yixing walking out of the bathroom with a towel around his neck and his hair dripping with water. He walked straight to the calendar, picked up a marker, and crossed out the date. It seemed like a routine to him — a routine that Jongdae was never awake to see.

 

Jongdae pretended that he was still sleeping, because the house was still dark, but the hazy azure light coming inside the window was showing some signs that it was early morning. Yixing would have thought it was odd for Jongdae to be awake so early in the morning. It was still warm and comfortable in bed, and the quilt he was sleeping under was very cozy and urged him not to get up.

 

Jongdae was going to attempt to go back to sleep when he heard something shake around. He opened his eyes and saw Yixing opening a medicine bottle and taking pills. Jongdae’s heart panged as he remembered Yixing’s confession from last night. He thought about the boy striking out the dates on the calendar and suddenly understood.

 

Yixing was counting down the days until his surgery.

 

Questions flooded Jongdae’s mind. How long has he known about the surgery? How long has he been counting down? How long has he been fearing for his life?

 

Jongdae watched as Yixing headed for the kitchen to take out pots and pans to cook with. The “sleeping” boy noticed Yixing moved as quietly as possible, so as to not wake him.

 

Yixing couldn’t do anything about the sound of the food cooking, but it was already getting brighter outside and Jongdae thought about waking up soon. When Yixing was halfway done with cooking, Jongdae decided to get up and walk over to the boy who was cooking. “What’s for breakfast today?”

 

Yixing turned around and smiled. “Chinese sausage and congee. It’s my turn today to show you the food of my people,” he said, brightly.

 

Jongdae ate heartily, because it was pretty good. Yixing wasn’t near done when Jongdae finished eating because he talked about the many festivals, such as the Dragon Boat Festival, that he missed in his hometown, Changsha of the Hunan Province.

 

“We should go to China together one day,” Jongdae proposed. “You can show me the food of your people all day, every day.”

 

Yixing only smiled and started eating.

 

After they fed Fushi, they took her outside for her daily morning walk. The day was beautiful again, and Jongdae tried his luck. “Anywhere on the agenda today?”

 

“Actually, yes, I’d like to take you someplace. Don’t worry, it’s outdoors,” Yixing jokingly assured him. Jongdae only stuck out his tongue in response.

 

They went back to the house though, much to Jongdae's dismay, but Yixing reassured him they will go later.

 

Lunch came around and Yixing and Jongdae went outside to take care of Fushi again.

 

After Fushi's business was taken care of, the three of them headed in a direction that was opposite from the way back to the house. Yixing took the lead and Zhongdae felt excitement as he followed.

 

After a few minutes of walking, they came across a clearing of trees, but instead of a field, there was a lake. When Jongdae exclaimed with joy, Yixing smiled the brightest he has ever smiled, as Fushi barked and went straight for the water. Jongdae followed as Yixing sat on a long log near the water.

 

“Why would you stay in your cabin if you have this nearby?”

 

Yixing responded, “I used to come by here everyday when I first came to Korea. Then I started to become bored, since there was barely anything I could do here.”

 

“Hm, Fushi seems to love it here,” Jongdae joked as the dog was standing in the water, her belly just above the surface. Yixing groaned since he was going to have to give her a bath later.

 

When Jongdae whipped his head around to look at the dog, he saw a woman instead, and she was throwing rocks. One blink and he saw the dog again. Jongdae racked his brain for what he had just seen and he looked around the lake. He saw a little boy with his toy truck across from them.

 

“Yixing…”

 

“Yes,” the Chinese boy answered.

 

“I think I came here once. With my mother. It was when I was little.”

 

“Oh yeah? I’m glad you remember this place. I wish I could bring my mother to a place like this. I would like to taste the food that she cooks and attend festivals with her and wash Fushi together.” He hung his head, since he didn’t want Jongdae to see his expression.

 

“I’m sure you could do all those things,” Jongdae assured him, patting his back enthusiastically. Then he noticed Yixing looking at the ground. “Huh? What’s wrong?”

 

“Jongdae… what if… I don’t survive the surgery?”

 

Jongdae kept a straight face. “You’re going to survive it, trust me.”

 

Yixing kept going. “My medication hasn’t been working properly lately, and I even fainted yesterday. What if my heart fails during the surgery? I won’t be able to go back to China and I won’t be able to see my mother again…”

 

“Zhang Yixing, you’re going to survive. God can’t punish someone like you. Why would you die if you want to live so much? You’re going back to China with that dog that likes peeing on a certain tree, and you’re going to see your mom again. You’re heart is going to keep beating while you take care of other people who come stumbling into your house because you’re just a good person like that. Don’t say you’re not going to make it because I know for a fact that you are. I promise you.”

 

Yixing leaned his head on Jongdae’s shoulder and sighed. “Then I promise you I will fight and survive the surgery.”

 

They both listened to the birds in the forest and the water splashing around as Fushi walked in it. Together, they listened to both their hearts beating, along to the rhythm of the forest. Both hearts beat the same; one wouldn’t even be able to tell which was was weaker, because they both beat with live promises that would keep them going.

  
  


The dinner dishes were cleaned and washed, and Jongdae was a little bored, since Yixing was reading his book on his bed. Jongdae got up from the floor after playing with Fushi and jumped on the bed with Yixing. “Why are you reading now?” Jongdae whined.

 

“Because you messed up my schedule. I’ve been meaning to finish this book. Since I haven’t been following my routine because of a certain someone, I probably won’t be able to exchange this book for another anytime soon,” Yixing retorted.

 

Jongdae pouted and pursed his lips, but Yixing was still focused on his book. “Ah, have you ever built a fort before?”

 

“A fort?”

 

“Yes, a fort! We get chairs and blankets and we make a mini fortress!” Jongdae chimed.

 

As if he were doing a dance, Jongdae pranced around the whole cabin, gathering chairs and all the sheets, blankets, and quilts he could find. Yixing and Fushi stood and watched, fascinated, as Jongdae worked tirelessly, putting together his project.

 

“Ta-da!!” Jongdae gestured at the finished structure. Yixing’s blankets were strewn on top of the chairs, but there was an opening some place beneath the coverings and chairs. “How do ya like it?”

 

“It looks interesting,” Yixing answered truthfully.

 

“Let’s go inside and check it out!!” Jongdae ducked into the fort and stayed there. “Come in!”

 

Yixing looked at his dog, who only stared back, and shrugged before he decided to go in. Unexpectedly, it was very comfy and homey, and it made him feel somehow protected. It made him want to stay in there forever; to snuggle up in the sheets next to Jongdae.

 

“So how do you like it?”

 

“It’s surprisingly nice.”

 

“See!! I told you! I’ve got you hooked. Whenever my dad would beat me, I would build a fort and hide in it when he’s done. It gave me a sense of protection. But one time, he came back and smashed it, and that left me with a bad memory…” Jongdae drifted off, but focused again. “But I’m sure we can make new memories in here.”

 

Yixing smiled and nodded. “Of course. We can keep it up until the day of my surgery.”

 

Jongdae beamed at the thought. Then a big white head peeked in, and Jongdae laughed as Fushi tried to intrude. “Come here, girl! You’re welcomed in here too!!”

 

They laughed at too many things that night. They brought in Jongdae’s toy truck and a lantern so they could turn off the lights in the cabin, but still have light inside. The happy and hilarious memories of the fort collapsing and Fushi panicking was engraved in both Yixing’s and Jongdae’s memories. They both fixed the blanket fort again and talked a little more.

 

Near midnight, Yixing was exhausted and fell asleep on Jongdae’s shoulder. Jongdae’s heart fluttered; Yixing truly looked like an angel when he was asleep.

 

Yixing was the angel who stole Jongdae’s heart, but Jongdae was okay with that. He wanted Yixing to take his heart and cherish it forever.

 

**Monday, August 19th**

 

The next morning, Jongdae woke up inside the fort alone. He didn’t hear or smell any cooking and he certainly didn’t think Yixing would leave him alone for good in his own cabin. It wasn’t the 21st, so he wouldn’t just leave before his surgery either.

 

Jongdae listened hard and heard heavy breathing. He got up and walking out of the fort to see Yixing splayed out across the bed. “Yixing?” The Korean boy walked closer and to see beads of sweat dripping down Yixing’s head and neck and the boy had lines of discomfort written all over his face. “Yixing!! What happened!!”

 

“It’s… c-cold…”

 

“But you’re sweating bullets!!” Jongdae put his hand on Yixing’s forehead. “And you’re hot too, oh my God.” He looked around, anywhere for a blanket, but then realized they were all on the fort. He yanked a quilt from the fort and laid it on top of Yixing. “Fuck, what do I do…” He recalled what his mom would do for him whenever he got a fever; he got a small towel, ran it under cold water and squeezed some water out of it. He placed it on top of Yixing’s head with hopes that his efforts would lower down Yixing’s temperature.

 

“Did you take your medicine today?”

 

The Chinese boy nodded faintly. “Nghh… Ah,” he whimpered as his hand went straight to his chest. His breathing got faster and heavier and Jongdae’s heart hurt, since he didn’t know what to do. He felt helpless.

 

Yixing took his free hand and grabbed Jongdae’s for comfort. “Yixing, it will pass. Just endure, please?”

 

_Knock, knock, knock!_

 

“There’s someone at the door,” Jongdae said, quietly to the sick boy.

 

“C-can you answer it, please? It’s probably the medical aid.” Jongdae nodded, and got up.   

 

Yixing was trying to catch onto a steady rhythm to breathe along to. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. The pain in his chest was too much to bear; he felt like digging into his own chest and ripping out his heart. He heard the door click open. “Auntie?! What happened to your face?”

 

“Kim Jongdae! What are you doing here?! Let me in and close the door immediately!!”  

 

Yixing did not have the strength to sit up. He couldn’t find the energy in the moment. “Kim Jongdae, your father is looking all over the place for you and he hit me in the process. Why haven’t you told me that he’s abused you before?”

 

“Auntie, that’s not the problem right now —”

 

“Of course it’s a problem! What if he found you here?! He could’ve killed you and —”

 

“Auntie, are you Yixing’s medical aid?”

 

“Yes, but since I found you, I can’t attend to him today. I will call another nurse for him later!!”

 

“But you have to take care of him!!”

 

“No, we have to leave right now. We have to leave before your father finds you and kills you.”

 

Yixing’s heart almost stopped when he heard his medical aid demand that Jongdae leave. Yixing was almost selfish enough to yell out, ‘No! I want Jongdae to stay with me!’ But he didn’t. Jongdae’s life depended on his escape. Yixing’s heart almost screeched at him as he tried to find the energy to get up; he remembered the times they leaned on each other at the lake and at the fort. He wanted to hold Jongdae at least one time.

 

“Bu— Yixing!! What are you doing standing up!!”

 

“You ha-have to listen to your aunt. Go b-before your dad finds you,” Yixing said weakly. His stance was not stable at all and he looked like he was going to collapse any minute. His back was bent over and his hand held his chest where his heart was.

 

“Yixing, we have to take care of you!! My dad hasn’t found me for the past week, and he probably won’t ever find me here!! You’re in pain right now, I can’t just leave you.”

 

“Forget it, like you said, it will pass. It’s nothing right now,” Yixing assured him, giving him a small smile. “Can I just hold you, hold you one last time before you leave?”

 

Jongdae nodded and enveloped his arms around the Chinese boy. He didn’t want to let go; he wanted to hold Yixing forever and make sure he was safe in his arms. Jongdae realized he would've stay here if his aunt never came. Then thoughts of his father finding this cabin and harming Yixing stopped him. He needed to leave, not only for his safety, but Yixing's. He didn't want to leave; why hasn’t he held Yixing earlier? The thought of leaving so soon scarred Jongdae and made him want to hold on tighter.

 

“Jongdae, we have to go!! Your father might have followed me into the woods!! He thinks I know where you are!”

 

He ignored his aunt’s pleas and looked his friend in the eye. “You’ll be okay, and you will live. Please wait for me. I’m leaving my toy truck with you, okay? Since I trust you. I will come back to you, Yixing,” Jongdae promised. Before he could say anything else, his aunt yanked him away from Yixing and dragged him out the door. Jongdae was able to turn back one last time and shoot Yixing an apologetic look.

 

Yixing only smiled and waved before Jongdae’s aunt quickly closed the door, cutting the two boys off from each other. The cabin has never felt so empty before.

 

As much as he wished the door would open again and Jongdae would come back in and support him through the surgery, Yixing made sure the two wouldn’t return. When it was evident they weren’t coming back, he collapsed back onto his bed.

 

**Tuesday, August 20th**

 

**Wednesday, August 21st**


	3. Chapter 3

"Auntie, Auntie, it's August 30th. Yixing must be back home, right? Do you know if he survived the surgery?"

 

"Jongdae, sweetie, I quit the agency I worked at because I found a better paying job here. And it would be such a hassle to go back and forth from the city to back there."

 

"What? You mean... there's no way to find out?"

 

"No, sorry. I don't think the agency will disclose that information to me anymore. I'm sure he's fine," his aunt reassured him, stroking his hair and face in an attempt to offer some sort of comfort to the distraught boy.

 

"But did you see his condition before we left?" Jongdae insisted.

 

"No, I was too busy trying to convince you to leave,” his aunt retaliated, muttering the last part. “Why?"

 

"He was sweating, and he had a fever. If I wasn't leaving, he probably would have stayed in bed!" Jongdae had just realized. Yixing had gotten out of bed _just for him_. Just to say goodbye to him. To hold him for one last time.

 

‘Idiot, he shouldn’t have done that,’ Jongdae thought. ‘He must’ve been in so much pain.’

 

His aunt bit her lip, and even without her words, Jongdae knew what that meant. She wasn't so sure about Yixing's condition now, but she didn't want to say anything to worry him.

  
  


Jongdae was enrolled into a school and entered junior year. He was soon engulfed with homework, tests, and club activities. Everything kept him busy from thinking about anything else except school. He tried his hardest to remember to think about the boy who saved him. His first love. He had to find a way to get back to the little house in the forest.

  
  


_Yixing... Yixing... Yixing... Zhang Yixing._

  
  


_I need to know if you are still alive..._

  
  


"Jongdae," his aunt called him from the kitchen. Jongdae got up from his desk and left his homework to go to where his aunt was.  

 

"Sit down," his aunt gestured in front of her toward the seat across the tiny table. Jongdae complied and pulled out the chair and sat down. "Your father's been arrested. This morning, I went and testified to the police that he abused you and assaulted me. You're safe now."

 

It took a lot for Jongdae to process. His father, the man who ruined his childhood, was now locked up somewhere; someplace where he couldn't reach past the bars and hurt his own son.

 

“You don’t hate your father, right?”

 

Jongdae never hated his father. He only felt fear and terror every time his father stalked near him or even whispered his name. Now, all Jongdae could feel was pity and heartache that he couldn’t help his father when he dug his own hole and fell deep into it.

 

“I never did.”

 

His aunt had a slight look of satisfaction, maybe because despite the way he was raised, he learned to be forgiving. “Okay, maybe we can visit him. One day. If he reacts violently, you don’t have to see him again.”

 

“It’s okay. Even if he does, I will work to have him forgive my mother and me.”

 

His aunt smiled a small, proud smile and she knew Jongdae was much too mature for his age.

 

"Then, Auntie, can we go back to our old house? The house nearby the woods." Jongdae was willing to to go back to that house to somehow escape his aunt and go into the woods. He can find that cabin again. He can find Zhang Yixing again. He had to be alive.

 

His aunt looked at her nephew's intense stare and thought about it. Then nodded her head. "In the summer. We'll go for our vacation."

 

Jongdae's aunt soon learned about monks and Buddhist temples and decided she wanted to spend her vacation some place else. They end up going to Thailand for the summer.

  
  


‘I told myself multiple times I wouldn't forget the boy, who despite had a weak heart, still carried out strong acts of kindness. However, it greatly upsets and deeply troubles me that I've suddenly forgotten what he looked like. For a couple of weeks now, I've forgotten his name. There's too much going on now, such as college applications and admissions tests and he completely slipped away from my mind. I’ve also had to visit my father, who doesn’t intend to talk to me so soon. The only thing I can remember about the boy is how his actions contradicted his well-being. My aunt had told me before I should not get stuck on it as life goes on, but I cannot bring myself to willingly erase him. I want to remember him. What he looks like, how he sounds like, what he's done for me. I want to see him again.’

  
  


_The forest was dark and the trees looked menacing. Jongdae was already running, running, running..._

 

_His breathing is rapid and his chest is heaving. He knows whatever is coming for him will catch him if he stops. He doesn't know how far he's come and what he's running from, but those thoughts vanished when he ran past the black trees and into a green meadow. The sunlight reached the ground and shone brightest in the middle of the meadow._

 

_Jongdae was entranced and fascinated by that light and followed it. He walked to the center of the field and saw a boy lying down, with his arms underneath his head; one leg was bent upwards while the other lied extended. The boy was sleeping. He was dressed in all white and he had a bright and calming aura about him._

 

_He looked like an angel._

 

_But Jongdae didn't know why he said this next: "I need to know if you are still alive."_

 

 _The boy stirred and before the boy could open his eyes, Jongdae woke up_. He was back in his college dorm, now sitting up, cold sweat drowning his head and his back.

 

What kind of dream did he have? Why was he sweating like this? He had already forgotten, and sat up trying to rack his brain to remember. It slipped away from his mind as soon as he focused on his breathing and sweat when he woke up. He feels it was really important, but he ended up going back to sleep, only remembering a bright light.

  
  


Jongdae's aunt retired and felt she no longer needed to stay in the city, since she was alone in the house and Jongdae dormed in college; she moved back into the house near the forest that they left many years before. Jongdae felt a pang in his heart when he thought about it, maybe because of memories in the house of his father hitting him, but he completely forgot about the days that happened in the forest. He felt something important was missing, but he couldn't figure it out and decided to drop it.

  
  


Jongdae graduated college with high markings and a girlfriend. As soon as he settled into a stable and high paying job, he asked her to marry him and she happily replied yes. They became husband and wife and lived a normal, average life. He loved her, but something deep within him told him he is not satisfied. He tried to shake the feeling away, since he could not figure out what was troubling him, and he put on a smile for his wife everyday and told her he loved her.

 

Jongdae suffered heartbreak when she passed away, shortly after giving birth to a baby girl. His wife wanted to name her Haesung, and Jongdae fulfilled her wish. He vowed he was going to raise his daughter lovingly, unlike the way his father had brought him up. He wanted to be the better person, and show that he was not like his father. His daughter looked exactly like his wife, and it pained him to see her grow up to be a spitting image of her mother — however, he told himself to stay strong and Haesung was a reason to keep going.

 

When she was five years old, she wanted to go on a trip. She said she didn't want to see tall buildings or a gray sky. She wanted to go far away and the first place that came to Jongdae’s mind was his old house, where his aunt was residing. His aunt always came up to the city to visit them, but never did he go down to visit her there. Now was a good time, since Haesung was more than willing to get away from polluted streets and loud cars rushing by.

 

They took the train to get to the house. It took about 6 hours, but they made it, and Haesung was excited to play outside. After Jongdae greeted his aunt and set his suitcase in his room, he went around the house to check if anything had changed. His aunt barely did anything, but the atmosphere was so much different than what he remembered, since the last time he was home, the house was dark, the television was always running, and it had reeked of alcohol. It was much cleaner and brighter and Jongdae was happy that such a beautiful house was taken care of again.   

 

Finally, he went outside to check how his daughter was doing. She was playing in the tall grass that separated the house from the forest. It was evident that his daughter was enjoying herself, but there was something about the forest that her back was facing. Jongdae took a long good look at the trees that were dancing in the summer wind and at the earth that was sheltered beneath the leaves. It was as if the trees were waving at him, inviting him to enter and walk underneath the brush.

 

Jongdae took one step into the tall grass, and he saw a flash of rain and gray skies. One blink and everything was bright and cheery again. What was that? He took one more look at the forest, which still seemed as if it was coaxing him into going inside.  

 

"Haesunggie?"

 

"Yes, daddy?"

 

"Daddy is going somewhere, so stay here, okay? Don't go anywhere without telling your great-aunt," he instructed her and she nodded before going back to playing around. He was going to do it — he wanted to see what nature wanted from him and why it was calling him like that.

 

He walked underneath the first tree and another flash came to him. Everything was moving really fast and he was panting. His face and his ribs hurt and a sense of desperation was rising out of him. Another blink and it was all gone. He had to keep going. The forest looked the same as the pictures that were playing out in his head.

 

He came across a tree with a huge stone. Taking a closer look at the stone, it was a little faded away, but he could make out: "Fu... Man's... est... nd" He tried squinting and even rubbing the stone to see if he could read better, but it was weathered away. He shrugged and continued on.

 

He saw a wagon and legs covered in black pants walking in a certain direction. The wagon was being pulled. There was a person, but only his back was shown. He, himself, was on the wagon... where was he going?

 

Blink. He had to follow this person.

 

But there was no person; only a slightly distinct path, that could've been made with years of walking through the same place continuously and habitually without fail.

 

He pushed past the branches that have become a little longer with time, and came across a small clearing with a wooden cabin. In front, there was a rocking chair and a man was sitting in it, eyes closed and head leaning back. In his lap, he was holding a toy truck — _his_ toy truck. The toy truck he left behind many, many years ago. He realized the man in front of him is the boy who saved him in the forest; the boy with the golden heart, the angel who stole his heart.

 

Everything came flooding back to him — memories, moments, laughter. He could hear his heart thumping as he breathed _his_ name, loud enough for the man's eyes to open — the eyes Jongdae had been longing to see.

 

"Zhang Yixing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact #1: After his surgery, Yixing waited for Jongdae, but realized he's not coming back; he goes to China and finds out his mother is dead from the same disease — she spent all the money she had to save Yixing instead of herself — and comes back to stay in his cabin in the woods. Fushi also passes away (from old age) and Yixing buried her under the tree she mostly did her business and the tree he found Jongdae at. Fushi's gravestone said: "Fushi - Man's Best Friend"
> 
> fun fact #2: An alternate ending would have gone like this: Jongdae goes into the forest and finds the house, but Yixing is nowhere to be seen. Jongdae explores the cabin a little and concludes he could go through the hospital's records. He rushes to the hospital and asks the head of the hospital if he can identify the result of Yixing's surgery. Jongdae is left devastated when he's told that Yixing didn't make it.


End file.
